Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Day one of BPC, and then shit gets real

So, cleanse, day 1, almost done!  Still going to Bar Method in an hour, we'll see how that goes.

As most reviews promised, I was never super hungry.  Nor was I ever super full.  The morning was probably the most difficult, this afternoon has been decent.

Also, the beet juice, is GROSS.  I can't believe I have to drink four more of those and find myself regretting not getting the next level of cleanse where the terrible beet juice is replaced by delicious green juice.  The color looked so pretty and promising.

In the spirit of cleansing, I decided to be more open in therapy and shit got real.  There is kind of nothing worse than being told by your therapist "You have depression" when you were finally for the first time in months starting to think you weren't depressed.  So there's that.  I guess I really did think therapy would be some super helpful magic bullet and if I went, magically everything would be fixed.  Obviously this is not the case.  Obviously I have work to do and need to start figuring out what that is, and then doing it.  I was initially scared of going to therapy because I did not want someone to just shove me on some pills that were going to numb everything.  I am now having those moments of wishing I'd gone to whatever kind of doctor it is that just gives you pills, because to be honest, numbness sounds a lot more appealing than what I'm going through right now.

But.  I am soldiering on.  It will be fine. 

Cannot believe I signed up for this cleanse.  And yet, so glad I did.  To make my point:  I want food, actual food, so badly right now.  But I can tell you that my stomach is completely fine.  Not hungry.  This is all in my head.  I think that sums up pretty much everything.

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