Thursday, September 1, 2011


It is probably for the best that I am the only one that ever reads this blog.  If you're somehow not me, I know this is supposed to be all health/fitness/food related, but please excuse me for a self-indulgent rant about my life.

That whole thing about magic internet fairies making things happen for me?  Well, it worked.  Kind of.  I guess I need to be more specific.
I am only interested in getting my ex back if he's willing to realize that I am a human being with thoughts and feelings who wants to be someone's partner, not someone who can be fit into one's life only when it's convenient. 
I want work I'm actually excited about with people I'm excited to work with.  Preferably in New York.  In fact, definitely in New York (there is probably a reason I almost exclusively read fitness blogs based in NYC).

Internet fairy rant complete.  On the health side, things have been going okay, physically.  I'm mostly over last week's back weirdness, and despite not really monitoring what I've been eating, my weight has stayed reasonable.

And then there's mental health, which I think a lot of people forget is something we need to take care of along with the physical.  I have not been doing great with that.  I cancelled my appointment with my therapist this week, and that could not have come at a worse time.  I'm...actually looking forward to going next Tuesday. 
Fortunately, this morning I realized that a lot of my grumpiness and body issues can be attributed to the fact that it's been way too long since I've been to yoga.  Went this morning and felt way better.

I've been in a not great place mentally for a few months now, and it's never fun, and it's even less fun because it's easy to forget that I've been in places like this before, because as soon as things get good again, you just forget all the bad stuff ever happened.  I feel like I'm beating myself up over perceived mental weakness now, but I forget that a year and a half ago I was having mild panic attacks all the time.  And I got through it, sans medication or professional help, though looking back on it, the latter might have helped. 
So all of this seems bad.  But I will make it through.  I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

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